Tuesday, December 20, 2011

It’s not Pronounced Kegel!

It’s December, and I’m reflecting on the past year. I’m needing to butter up my heathen so I can get awesome presents  for Hannukah (no ulterior motive here, move along, nothing to see).  So I’m making one of his favorite comfort foods


Kick Ass Kugel

Get out a large pot and fill it with water and enough salt to make it taste like the ocean. Then boil

1 lb egg noodles ( I used whole wheat flat ones, but cheapo wide egg noodles work even better)

When they’re al dente, drain them and chuck it back in the pan for later. Search for your favorite bowl and notice you have neither cottage cheese or enough sour cream. And call your heathen at work to bring them when he comes home. Meanwhile, in a bowl combine
1 ½ c heavy cream
¾ c milk (any type, I used skim)
2 ½ tsp vanilla (you can use less, but I like vanilla)
1 half of 1 lemon zested (optional, but I’ve a leftover lemon from making Alton Brown’s smoked trout avocado sandwich today)
¾ cup turbinado sugar (cuz it’s yummy, and I have only a little bit taking up space in the pantry, you can use any sugar you like)
5 tbs melted butter

Curse under your breath as you search for the phone to call heathen a second time and ask him to buy eggs, because you only have 4 right now and need

5  large  eggs

Stick the bowl in the fridge, until you have the rest of the ingredients. Note to self: next time, make you you have the ingredients before you start making the blinking recipe. Put together the crunchy topping in a microwave safe bowl:

Melt 1 ½ Tbs butter in the microwave. Discover that it’s not melted after 20 seconds, and put it in for 10 more. Notice how much you really need to clean your microwave, ew.

Dump in:
1 Tbs cinnamon (you heard me, I know it’s more cinnamon than what’s traditional, but the next ingredient ain’t traditional either)
1 cup crushed corn flakes

Crush them in your hands, you’ll get a lovely heterogeneous texture. 
And it’s gratifying to say die! Die, little corn flakes!—oh wait, that’s just me. 

Toss around the idea of including
1 very thinly sliced medium apple

Decide you really don’t feel like cleaning the cutting board and omit it instead. Realize you told your heathen “Apple Kugel” on the phone. Oh well, Maybe next time. Set everything in the fridge and trot off to play Bubble With on Facebook. Get your

LAST EGG! (yay! Finally!)

And beat the mixture while you puree in the food processor

1 ½ c Cottage cheese (I use low fat, not that it matters in this recipe)
1 c  Sour cream (also low fat, yes, I realize the futility)

It doesn’t have to be perfect puree.  Actually my heathen likes it a little chunky. Dump in

½ cup your favorite raisins (I love sultanas)
This is what happens when you ask for help from the heathen. Poor raisin bag.

Cooked noodles from earlier

Slop! Wonderful slop!

And mix thoroughly. Pour the slop into a prepared 9”x13” baking pan, or your favorite casserole pan (it is a lot, use a big dish that’s really well greased)

Tasty looking, no?

and sprinkle with the cornflake mixture. 

Bake at 350 for at least 40 minutes (some days you need to bake longer to get the custard to set up correctly) Let cool for 10 minutes before cutting, elsewise you’ve no hope of getting it out of the pan in one piece. 
It’s even better cold for breakfast the next day.